Metal Family Meetup in Moscow
You can watch the original here [in Russian].
Dima: Actually… Actually, I wanted to talk to you about such unbelievably amazing things like buying an air conditioner. “It doesn’t fucking work, this fucking shit!”
And our war with the printing house, who didn’t understand that if a picture is too big in length for your format, you’re supposed to cut off the empty part at the top, and not half of the character’s body at the bottom!
But I guess I’ll hold that off, because recently there’s been a lot more important and nice events. For us.
Which was the unofficial Metal Family meetup. [Gustav in the pic: “Where’s the meetup, Sebastian?”]
In the last 2 months we had a very strict schedule, and our free time went completely to the negative.
That’s why we not only spent an hour at the first meetup, but visited all 3 of them where we stayed ‘til the very end. Almost.
Here was supposed to be an advertisement for- blegh.
Here was supposed to be an advertisement for time manager courses. Though I dunno what that is.
Alina: It’s ‘time management’.
Dima: For time management. [On screen: ruined joke]
Here was supposed to b- blegh.
HERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BARF!
Here was supposed to be an advertisement for time management courses. Right? It’s time management?
Alina: Yes, right, good job.
Dima: Anyway.
Here I was sitting at 2 am. Working. Then suddenly, Glam writes to me. To me personally, because Alina closed her DMs for a few days-months, so everyone turned to me.
Glam writes to me, that on July 17th there’s gonna be an official-... “Official”. It’s unofficial…
Anyway, Glam wrote to me that on July 17th there’s gonna be a MF meetup. So I was like “whatever, the 17th, today is the 10th”. But TOMORROW there’s a provisional rehearsal, and I’m like “Ohhh! Well, okay!”
I come up to Alina and go: Hey, hey, can we go? Can we go, huh? Huh? HUH? C’mon let’s go!
Alina: Well, I dunno, we have a lot of work tomorrow, we need to go to the bank…
Dima: Yeah but the bank is here, and we’re here, and the meetup is here, see how close everything is, huh? Huh? Can we go?
Alina: Well, okaaay.
Dima: Usually, our previous hangouts with the fans looked like this. Or like this. Once it was like this:
[On screen: Train Station]
Dima: “HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MANAGE TO LOSE THE PASSPORTS, WE HAVE A FUCKING TRAIN IN 1 HOUR!”
Alina: “HOW IS IT MY FUCKING FAULT, YOU LOST YOUR GODDAMN BAG!”
Dima: “AND WHO WERE SUPPOSED TO WATCH IT, ME!?”
Alina: “IT’S YOUR FUCKING BAG, YOU FUCKING WATCH IT!”
Dima: Anyway, all of the hangouts were comfy and small.
Alina thought there’d be around 5 people. I thought 8.
Alina: We’re driving to meet our 2 fans.
Dima: When we arrived, Glam sent us a photo of the army of darkness… I was a bit spooked, but Alina said that it’s probably a trick of the light, and 30 of those people are probably random passersby. I also forgot to turn off the recorder on my helmet, so our meeting was fixated on video. And, although there’s no picture, because it was recording my ass, you can still hear the audio.
Alina: Glam’s coming.
Alina: No no no, not so fast! Not so fast!
[“We’re Not Gonna Take It” intensifies]
Dima: Anyway, we were greeted like kings, thrown into a huge clearing with an artwork of Gustav, surrounded from all sides and we started working like migrant workers, drawing pictures for everyone.
Because we can’t just give out autographs like normal people, no, we have to also draw pictures!
But because there were so many requests, the quality of our drawings left a lot to be desired, until we started to draw complete incomprehensible mess by the end.
The hype wouldn’t stop at all, the screams continued, we were asked questions, hugged, they fell on us from trees, bit us… mosquitoes. But generally the experience felt very positive.
After all art requests were completed, we sat around for a bit longer and then decided to leave, because we still had work. When we were crawling out of that ditch, we were sent off with applause like we were some astronauts or… bloggers.
Granny Dima: Another ‘bloggers’ or something arrived.
Dima: And they were applauding for about 15 minutes until we were gone.
The second meetup was supposed to be on the 17th and 18th. In the Brateevsky Park. [On screen: All of this]
At one point I even thought we ruined the serenity with our visit. The guys were sitting in the gazebo, hanging out, and then suddenly, we were like… [In Ches’ voice] Helloooo!
Screams again, questions, trees, mosquitos… We were swarmed with paper and we started drawing pictures again, some of them even turned out pretty funny.
And while we were sitting there drawing, we were watched by a guard. He was just standing there, watching us, like “eh… eh?... eh”. Even after I drew stuff, walked around, looked in my bag for something… He kept watching and watching. He didn’t even take a single step, just kept standing there and watching. It’s been 2 hours, we’ve drawn all the pictures and he didn’t move an inch. Very interesting. Maybe it wasn’t even a guard but a paper cutout. And later he was picked up and moved.
I also thought I’d record our meeting on camera so I took out the recorder. I thought I turned it on, but I actually turned it off. And when I decided to put it away, I turned it on and put it in the bag. So the whole time it was recording this. Amazing.
Anyway, when all the pictures were done, when I said a few phrases in Ches’ voice, wished everyone I could a happy birthday, we started taking photos.
By the way, we met perhaps the most lovely-...
Alina: Dim! Don’t tell the name!
Dima: Uh… anyway… ‘The girl with no name’.
And Glam was the life of the party, as usual, walking around everywhere like “O-ho-ho-ho-ho!”
Of course there’s a lot of people I wanna mention. I liked… I liked… I liked a lot of people, actually! I can’t even remember them all! My memory is only ideal for cartoons, I'm only good at remembering them.
The second meetup ended with a chill walk ‘til the metro. Only we left a little earlier because we wanted to get drunk somewhere. Because we were a bit tired.
The third meetup was gonna be on the next day. And we agreed to come, but only if we don’t draw anything. Because our hands were done. No more hands.
[The list on screen:
->THE RULES OF THE MEETUP<-
No alcohol
Don’t fuck with Alina and Dima (and Roma)
NO pirozhki
Don’t scream! We’re in the park zone!
Don’t crowd around
Listen to the organizers carefully
Smoke far away from the meetup
Careful with sharp objects
Don’t beat with the ruler too hard!
No autographs, guys!
For any questions contact the organizers
Don’t run! (especially after Glam).
BREAKING THE RULES RESULTS IN A BAN!
Have fun!
- organizers.]
And because we were promised that we wouldn’t get terrorized with pictures, we decided to come. And NOT JUST COME, but also bring the voices of Glam, Dee and Gustav with us. Sadly, Zhenya couldn’t come.
Gustav: Worthless!
Dima: Though I imagine what would’ve happened if he came, it’d be something else…
Girl: Say something in Dee’s voice!
Dee: I won’t.
[The girls die]
Dima: But at least Gustav agreed to come.
Gustav: Instead of studying music he’s hanging around parks!
Dima: And as soon as he came he immediately joined the organizers.
Gustav: OK, take a photo with me. You! Go grill the sausages. Take out the trash! Move the bench! Everyone over here, now! Guitar! Listen!
Dima: Basically he really unloaded us and we even had time to walk around the territory. To congratulate the people of St.Petersburg with the meetups that we couldn’t attend. [On screen: A message from the creators of MF to the St.Petersburg fandom]
Alina: I think after that congratulation they won’t go to the meetup…
Dima: Yeah, because it was total hell. It was roughly like this…
I don’t remember what I even said there, but Gustav’s first words, as I remember, were “St.Petersburg! Your place is cold!”
The benefice of the whole meetup was the improv on stage. And I wanted to separately thank everyone who attended that nightmare, because it was absolutely hilarious. My jaw hurt because of how much I laughed. Me and Alina would come up with a situation, then 2 or 3 people would come out. They picked out cards with the characters from MF and, thereby, improvised.
At the end we decided to play a scene ourselves. I was Glam who ran from the asylum, who was chased by a nurse Alina named Ches, and Gustav played Heavy who was supposed to convince the first to go home. [On screen: The most sexy Ches, The most fat Glam, The most big Heavy]
It looked...
[Chaos on stage]
That’s it, curtains fucking fall.
After that, the meetup slowly began to break up, there were less and less people, until there was only a small pile left. It was fun to finally talk not about MF, but about… who had what stuck in their shoe, how much salt they like to add to their cutlets, who lives where, what they think about the big bang theory — both the series and the actual theory. Anyway, we talked about some crap until late night.
That was exactly why we came to the meetup, because we wanted to chat in real life. Yes, we already talk a lot on social media, but nothing can replace live communication. So we will try to come to such meetups often, or maybe even organize them ourselves. In honor of season 2, for example. Maybe. [On screen: MF season 2. Release date: dunno. “Amount of work”]
And in the end I wanted to say a huge, warm thanks to the organizers, to Volkov, everyone who came, everyone who wanted to come but couldn’t, everyone who came but we weren’t there, everyone who gifted us art, biscuits, and this huge poster. I think it’ll hide this vomit stain on the wall nicely.
Well, I think that’s all! Bye!
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