Metal Family Kitchen #3

[ORIGINAL VIDEO]

[TL Note: Metal Family Kitchen is a series of voice acting behind the scenes bloopers. In the original, Glam, Dee and Lydia are voiced by Zhenya, aka Blin. For clarity I will refer to Zhenya as the characters he voices.]

Dima: Talk a bit more clearly! More happiness! More happiness!
Glam: [big smile] Oh, you’re talking about Ches… “Prochesa”, like scratching something. [In Russian “pro Chesa” (about Ches) sounds very close to “prochesat’” (прочесать), meaning “to scratch”]
Dima: It’s like an insult.
Glam: Ah, so your name is Prochesa!
Hmm, we decided to not buy a green rooster because… oh, you mean Ches! Oh, you're talking about Ches!
Dima: You’re talking, Prochesa!
Glam: You're talking, Prochesa! Ha ha ha! My wife can talk, did you know that?
Dima: Her name is Prochesa.
Glam: Prichesa. [In Russian the word “prich” (прыщ) means “pimple”]
Dima: She was a princess, but now she’s a prichesa.
Glam: It’s been so long since I’ve voiced anything… Oh, you mean Ches.
Dima: Oh, you mean Ches!
Glam: Ohhh, you’re Prochesa, darling!
Oh, you mean Ches!
Dima: Okay, fine. Let's go next.
Glam: My dear Prochesa.
… explaining his late arrival with FUCK, WHAT’S WITH THIS PHRASE! Who wrote this, who?
Alina: [laughs]
Glam: [extreme throat clearing] He’s like “o ho ho ho ho”!
… While using Guesser-3500.
Dima: [unintelligible]
Glam: Or a child. But a very bright one… [clears throat] but a very bright FUCK. Wait.
Dima: [in Glam's voice] I'll fuck you up!
Glam: [in a weird voice] I'll kick your ass!
… for example by helping his less educated schoolmates. Stupid. You’re all stupid.
Reraise 1500. [weird noises] [clears throat] Don't exaggerate... Ches. Shesh. Why did I pause? Am I stupid?
Dima: All in.
Glam: All in! Oi oi!
Dima and Glam: [cuckoo noises]
Glam: I'm interested in testing out the last signs of delusional disorder... 4 words that start with "P" in a row. [orig: proverit posledny priznak paranoidalnogo psihoza]
Dima: [laughs]
Glam: Even 5. even 5!
Dima: [repeats the words] There's spit all over!
Glam: P'nterested p'in p'testing...
Dima: [says more words on "P"]
Glam: Well, Ches? Ho ho ho! All in! All in! Ah!
Dima: All in! [a reference to Mortal Kombat's "toasty"]
Glam: "All in!" — just appears like that.

Vicky: Is this fine?
Glam: No. No, it's not fine, because... [spins around] I'm afraid if we look decent they won't let- FUCK. [clears throat] There's a fold here! [laughs] Sounds maniacal.
Dima: To be honest his voice really is like a maniac's.
Glam: There's a fold here!
Dima: [laughs, says something unintelligible]
Glam: It's like, it's like... Yeah-yeah, it's like he's calling her that! [the word "skladochka" (fold) is diminutive, and Glam's delivery on that phrase sounded like him calling Vicky "skladochka"]
[clears throat] Man, what's going on.
Alina: Try to say it like this.
Dima: Ideal!
Glam: Ideal! Id-... Id-... Idiot.
We still have 15 more minutes. I'll go dress up.
Dima: [mockingly] 15 mintues!
Glam: 15 minutes!
Dima: [crazy noise]
Glam: And then people remove their headphones, ears bleeding.

Lydia: Uh...
Dima: Higher.
Lydia: I'm afraid-...
Dima: I'm afraid the car will be cramped.
Lydia: I'm afraid the car will have Super Grover. Wait, one sec. More water!
Dima: Bring more water!

Glam: Victoria! [does a Mario jump] Victoria!
And don't forget about smooth-... Burn. AND DON'T FORGET. My wife doesn't like-... My wife doesn't-... [clears throat] What's with this wife?! Doesn't like anything.
Dima: [swoons]
Glam: [copies him]
Victoria! Victo- VictAH- [screams Sr Pelo style]

Glam: Just a formality. All members of the family must be present at the ceremony. Member of the club! A famous character. [no idea about the reference here]

Man: Sebastian!
Glam: [weird noises]
Dima: He's not the only one who'll say that. [?]
Glam: Okay! My favorite phrase, ho ho ho!

Dima: It's fine, the mic is good.
Dee: Screw it. I'll just hiss.
Wanna look at the place where him shit was? Fuck. Wanna look at the place where his shit was?
Dima: Great!

Dee: I've been-... I'm shit. [the word "davno" (long time) at the beginning sounds similar to "gavno" (shit)] I've been looking for this place a long time. Keep your sword ready!
Dima: That was totally a Beeline commercial. [throwback to Kitchen #1]
Dee: Keep your sword ready! Stay safe with Beeline! Keep your... router ready!
Be careful. Keep your sword ready.
Dima: Great, done.
Dee: KEEP YOUR SWORD! READY!!!
Dima: Let's go next.

Glam: Unforgettable experiences, mysterious and spooky atmosphere...
Alina: [mockingly] Atmosphere.
Glam: Atmosphere.  Atmos- What's the problem?
At 14:30. [eyes rotate]
Alina: [unintelligible]
Glam: Yes. At 14:30.
Alina: I wouldn't let this kind of person in.
Glam: I'm. The crazy. Glam!
Da ["yes"]
Dima: Pizda. ["vagina"] [a reference to an ancient Russian meme]

Glam: It's an educational process.
Dima: I think that's fine.
Alina: Very scary.
Glam: [heavy breathing]
Dima: I mean, even the guard was freaked out. [pets Dee and Heavy] Educate, educate...
Glam: Yes... I'm an educator.

Glam: That's right, Vicky. Good... [weird noises]
Dima: [laughs]
Glam: He saw something scary.
Maybe I don't need water? Hmm, I think that brick... Blegh, too high!
Vicky, you did it! You pulled the right brick! You pulled-...
Dima: From the ass.
Glam: Ho ho ho!

Glam: It seems halfway through the game the teams get split up, and now we're playing against Heavy and Vivi...
Dima: [laughs]
Glam: Vicky. Vicky. Against Vicky and Heavy.

Glam: We were bored.
Dima: I'm boooored.
Glam: Booooored. We were boooooored. My life for Ner'Zhul! [Warcraft 3 reference]
Dima: Well, it that it?