Metal Family Kitchen #5

[ORIGINAL VIDEO]

[TL Note: Metal Family Kitchen is a series of voice acting behind the scenes bloopers. In the original, Ches is voiced by Dima, but for the sake of clarity I'll still refer to him as Ches.] 

Ches: It's got such an ass, mmm!
Alina: Nah, no way. Let's change it to "butt" after all.
Ches: Booty?
Alina: Butt.
Ches: Butt. Okay. It's got such a butt, mmm!
What, is it yours? Is... ssshhhhh. Why am I... [whistling] Fucking hell. What, is-... shhhh! Goddammit, it pisses me off! What's with the lisp? [tries to whistle] I can't even do it on purpose. What, is- [whistles like a kettle].

Ches: Hellooo!
Alina: That's awesome! I can imagine him sliding in closer like that.
Ches: Wait, again. Hellooooooooo! That one's for variety. We'll see which one's best.

Ches: Well, in major a double-augmented sixth chord is the same as a double temina-... [reads script] half-diminished dominant ch-... half-diminished dominant chord! [Note: I have no idea about any of this, so it might be wrong]
Well, in major a double-augmented sixth chord is the same as a double half-diminished dominant chord. Not enough air...
Alina: Don't try to do it in one go.
Ches: No, I have to. That's the point. It has to bounce off his teeth. [In Russian "to bounce off one's teeth" means the person has great knowledge of something, does it very fast and clear]
A double domin-... A double dominant se-... A double dominant s-... A double dominant sev-seventh chord. A double dominant seventhch- seventh chord. A double dominant se- SEVENTH CHORD!!!

Ches: Fuck those assholes with their TUNZ TUNZ TUNZ. I hope you can't hear it. Shishel-mishel pe- holy shit, I'm a whistler. ["Shishel-mishel" is a Russian nursery rhyme]
Fried bacon. I scrape it off the pan... and wanna know what I do with it next? Wanna know what... Shh-shh! Stop whistling! Is it because of the tooth?
Wanna know what I-... Shh! Fuck. Know what-shhhhh. Wanna know what I do with it next? I... [licks] I... [coughs] That could be an option, by the way. Coughed all over her hand.

Ches: Mmm, yeah... Mhhh, yeah, poh-... [swears] Man, you're kinda creepy. I think I'll go piss myself from fear.
Oh yeah! Oh yeah, the record... Thwe wecord...

Ches: [sings "We're Not Gonna Take It"] Nah, too high. [sings again] Again.

Ches: You got a cigarette? [laughs] He [Ches] probably already smokes.

Ches: Does your hair always do that when you play music? Does your hair only do that when you play music? [laughs] Actually, that's better. Does your hair only do that when y- [laughs] Got you, bitch! [laughs again]

Ches: Go ahead — fart. [laughs]

[sign: "THIS IS THE FULL VERSION"]
Ches: [sings "Paranoid"] I think Ches can probably sing like that. And by the way, that's his real voice when he screams.

Ches: Look at me. Holy Moly. Hedgehogs up my ass. [a vulgar expression of surprise]

 Ches: Uno momento, por fa-... por favor! Por favor!
Alina: Por favore.
Ches: What?
Alina: Por favorE.
Ches: Who says "por favore"? [reads script] I've never heard "por favorE", I've only heard "por favor".
Alina: Uno momento, por favore.
Ches: Can you look this phrase up please? In Spanish.
Alina: It's Spanish?
Ches: Yup.
Alina: "Please"?
Ches: Just say "uno momento, por favor".
Alina: Uno momento, por favoreE. ... Fine, it says "por favor" everywhere.
Ches: We're watched by Mexicans, dammit! You know how much we would've embarrassed ourselves?!
Uno-fucking... [laughs] Maybe he should actually say that? Uno-fucking-momento, por favor!

Ches: Wundulba. Wundulba.
Alina: What's wundulba?
Ches: That's German. [He meant to say "wunderbar" (German for "wonderful")] Did I say wundulba right?
Wunderfuck! [laughs] Actually, that's cool.

Ches: Yes, of course! Yeah, you can call me! Though, I don't have a phone... Yes, we love you too! Thank you, thank you! Thanks, thanks. Damn, my voice... [coughs] This could go in too, by the way. He was singing after all. Ow, my voice! [coughs]