Metal Family Kitchen #6

[ORIGINAL VIDEO]

[TL Note: Metal Family Kitchen is a series of voice acting behind the scenes bloopers. In the original, Glam and Lydia are voiced by Zhenya, aka Blin. For clarity I will refer to Zhenya as the characters he voices.]

Seb: May I sit down?
Dima: Not here.
Seb: May I, not here?

Seb: Music! I liked it!
Alina: [laughs]
Seb: Alina's facepalming.
[du du du noises] It's like Slipknot.
Alina: Your head's gonna rotate on its axis and explode.
Seb: Okay, let's do a few more. You want to record a video?
Alina: Don't pay attention.
Seb: No! No, please, no!

Zhenya: [more du du du noises]
Alina: [laughs]

Seb: [sings] My voice cracked!
Alina: [laughs and pulls out phone]
Seb: No, don't record this, please!
[sings again] Oh, c'mon! Too high for me.

Seb: Was it really necessary to move so far away-... [reads script] Was it really necessary to move so far away. Was it really necessary to mo- eh! Fuck.
Ches: Don't touch it, and make sure no one else touches it either!
Seb: Don't touch it! [clears throat] Don't touch it, monster. Don't touch it! Don't! Voice crack. Fuck!
Dima: And then a rooster comes out of your mouth. [In Russian the phrase "to let a rooster out" means "to sing off-key/crack a voice"]
Seb: Yeah, yeah. [rooster comes out] And runs away.

Ches: Fucking grab it, dumbass!
Seb: [panicked noises] [laughs]
Dima: [laughs] [says something about a train and tomatoes??? no idea tbh]
Seb: Tomatoes? Oh, I get it. Tomatoes on the rails.
Dima: The train! Where? There! Run! [I have no idea about the reference here, please let me know if someone does]

Gustav: Sebastian?!
Seb: I'm sorry, father! I... farted.
Gustav: A week! For a whole week, you're forbidden to...
Seb: The deleted scenes. Will you have a compilation of bloopers at the end of the season? Like in Jackie Chan.
Alina: Only you have such funny ones.
Seb: Damn, alright.

Seb: Ok. It's not allowed to run in this suit! It's... fuck, this phrase is killing me! "It spoils quickly", like...
Alina: You can say "it's a delicate fabric", for variety.
Seb: Ok, fine.

Seb: Yup, like that.
Gustav: Again?! You worm! He's laughing at me!
Everyone: [laughs]
Dima: Right on the piano! My white piano!
Gustav: Why do we always buy everything in white?!
Seb: And then a closeup of the ass. I just don't get what's happening here.

Seb: I think tomorrow, as well as the next day... Kaka... the next day. [He turned the beginning of "kak i poslezavtra" (as well as the next day) into "kaka" (poop)]
Gustav: Again?!
[No idea what they're saying here, sorry. Something about poop]

Seb: [sigh] It's gonna be painful...
Dima: [unintelligible]
Seb: UHHH! UHHHH! FUUUCK!

Seb: [rapid panting] Your favorite. Okay...
[does sound effects] And then he pops his head out. [more sound effects] I'll make him land at least. [landing sounds]
Alina: Thanks, Zhenya.
Dima: It just opens, and then...

Seb: Did he leave already?
Dima: [mockingly] Did he leave already?
Alina: Did he leave already?
Seb: Fuck man, there's just too many "zh" sounds! What was the other option? Like...
Dima: Is he-
Alina: Is he gone already? Maybe "is he gone" is enough?

Seb: [screams] Uh... Fuck.
Alina: How do you usually scream?
Seb: Like a girl. One sec... Fuck, this is hard.

Seb: [gasps] He's like...
Dima: Hwah!
Seb: Hadoken! Shoryuken!

Seb: Hohohoho! Panties!

Seb: I don't want to have anything in common with this... "glam". Glam. Glen.
Dima: Gobelin.
Seb: Gobelin.
Dima: Okay, next.
Seb: Okay.

Seb: You, with your own hands, will go and return it! Got that?!
Alina: It's like: "with your own hands"!
Seb: With you own hands! Just so it's less animation, you understand?! Ches... Animation is expensive! I farted on a ruler...

Seb: [sings "Accidentally in Love"]

Seb: [sings "Psychosocial"] It's actually slipknot, and they're like YEAH!

Seb: [keeps looking at the ruler]
Dima: [unintelligible]
Seb: Oh yeah.
Gustav: [screams]
Seb: All zoomed in.

Seb: No, father. I won't let you down.
Alina: It's like he wants to kill him.
Seb: Well, look at his face! I won't let you down!~
No, father. No, father. [scary noises] It's VERY HARD to find Glam's tone of voice!
[clears throat] No, no-no-no!

Gustav: What's wrong with you. Look how short my hand is! Beh!
Seb: [farts]
Gustav: [sighs] And then he opens a drawer, and there's a bunch of these shitty rulers.

Seb: At first we were getting change, but then some kind biker gave us 100 bucks each for playing the song Paranoid.
Alina: [says something]
Seb: What-what?
Alina: [mockingly] Song.
Seb: Sooong! Soooong. Again.
At first we were getting change, but then some kind biker gave us 100 bucks each for playing the song Paranoid. I said "song" again! You may ask "why". [laughs]
Nothing can ruin this evening!
Dima: Evening.
Seb: Evening. [sings some Russian song]

Seb: [snores]
Alina: [holds up a sign that says "louder"]
Seb: Oh. Okay! [snores like a pig]

Seb: For those who don't like it, the exit's right there!
Alina: [says something about him shouting that with a high-pitched voice]
Seb: But that's how he's supposed to say it, right?
Alina: Yeah-yeah, again.
Seb: For those who don't like it-... What the- Fuck, my watch is noisy. Does Glam wear a watch?
Alina: Nope.
Seb: Okay.

Seb: [crying sounds]
Dima: Awesome.
Alina: Everything's great, I just can't stop thinking about that... [she means the fart jokes]
Dima: [unintelligible]
Seb: [farts]
Alina: And then sad music starts playing.
Gustav: You shat yourself, Sebastian! You shat yourself!
Seb: D'Anthes, are you shitting? Are you shitting?? [A reference to a comedy skit from a Russian YouTuber]

Lydia: Sebastian! Eugh! Would she make a sounds like this [gasps] when the camera zooms on her?
Alina: Nah, she's silent.
Lydia: Okay. S-Sebastian. Wait-wait, a few more. Sebastian...
Dima: [plays a trumpet, referencing the song "Chihuahua"]
Lydia: Sebastian...