WHERE’S MY COMIC?!

[ORIGINAL VIDEO]

♫♪ Russian Post! ♫♪

Awaf to everyone! Let’s skip the long introduction and get right to the point.

This video is for those who've made an order on our website metalfamily.ru and are worried they still haven’t received anything. Sadly I can’t personally monitor the shipment of every comic, answer messages and check the delivery. That's why it's done by my assistants. They're very responsible workers, but sadly I as a manager misjudged my own strength, even tough I expected there will be lots of orders.

We thought the stock would sell out in a few months at best, but in the end it ran out in one week. That's... great! On one hand. And horrible on the other. Instead of processing 100 orders a day as planned, our workers have to process over 400. And even though we managed to get over most of the technical issues, there's still a problem regarding the delivery by the actual postal service.

♫♪ Russian Post! ♫♪

That we sadly can't change in any way...
First I wanna say that we ship to all and we're not trying to scam anyone. The problem is that by the time you payed for the order and got an email with the track number, a whole week can pass. And obviously, our week-long silence concerns people. We totally understand it and we're really sorry.

But I wanna bring your attention to some moments that significantly complicate our assistants' job. This time from the clients' side.

1. Wrong or incomplete address and full name.

Here's an example of what you should write so the order doesn't get lost at the post office:
Postcode, town, street, house number, building (if exists) [exclusive to Russia], apartment.

If you only indicated your street or town, or haven't filled your apartment number, or, God forbid, haven't filled your postcode, then your order may get lost at the post office. And you'll send us angry emails, asking "WHERE'S MY COMIC", and we'll delay our shipments just to find out half an hour later that you wrongfully filled in the order.

2. Make sure you write the correct email address.

We use the email you write to send a tracking number that will let you track the order. If you fill it incorrectly, the track number simply won't arrive to you. And you'll send us angry emails, asking "WHERE'S MY COMIC" — you get the point.

Here's an important thing! As soon as you payed for the order, you'll be sent this message on the specified email. If you received it — congratulations, you did everything right! But if it didn't arrive, it means the email was typed incorrectly, or the message, just like the track number, got sent to the spam folder. Make sure to check if it's there.

Another important thing! The order doesn't get delivered to your house, guys, but to the post office. So don't wait for the delivery man and go straight there.

And now I'll explain the delay for those who's been good and filled everything correctly and still haven't heard from us. 

All right, this is Vasya. He placed an order on the website, the payment went through, he even got the email that his order is processing. Vasya knows that soon he'll receive a track number that will let him track the comic. And when the order will arrive at the post office, Vasya will find a notice in his mailbox that the package has arrived and he can pick it up.
Ideally that's how it should go.

♫♪ Russian Post! ♫♪

And now let's dive into harsh reality...

After Vasya placed an order, he'll be... let's say, the 1000th on the processing list. Our workers can't process 1000 orders in 1 or 2 days. That's why since the moment Vasya payed for the order and until his order gets noticed by the workers, around 3 days will pass. Vasya's order gets packaged and placed in the processing stack. You need to understand that the workers don't run to the post office as soon as the order gets placed, but send them in batches once every few days. So even if Vasya was first, he'd still have to wait for the batch to fill up. And only then a batch of, let's say, 500 orders, gets sent to the postal servise. There it's given to the postal workers, gets paid for and then the workers calmly and slowly start sending it off.

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I'm not saying all postal workers are lazy, but you must agree that there's no reason for them to bust their asses to do everything as fast as possible. [On screen: "In most regions of Russia, wages range from 13 to 20 thousand rubles" (that's around 170-260 dollars)]

Anyway. After 3 days it gets sent off. Vasya's waiting and getting nervous, since a week has passed and there's no track number. Then 3 days later the postal workers send 1000 track numbers to our assistants. It might seem easy to just email the track numbers to everyone, but let's get back to the people who incorrectly filled their email addresses. There's a person like that for every 3 orders. They search for them, contact them and send their order. And so, when it gets to Vasya's track number, a few more days pass. 

Vasya's furious. He sends messages to every email. But here's a problem: his polite message of "hello, where's my package" gets buried under hundreds of messages from those, who've already written 5 messages, all from different accounts, just to make sure it gets noticed.

Most messages though are from clients who incorrectly filled their email, address and full name. Or from kids' parents who made such mistakes during order placements. By the way, please make sure to help your child with this stuff, [On screen: "Actually the comic is 16+, but if you're angry about the comic being late then you probably don't mind your kid reading it... (under your supervision)"] so that later you won't send us outraged emails and we could finally help Vasya.

And now for the summary and a very important announcement at the end. Stick around.
Often the track number gets sent to you either when your order arrives at the postal service, or when your order's already arrived at your post office. We're sorry for such inconveniences. From the next batch forward we'll make sure such things won't happen. 

But for those who already placed an order and after 2 weeks haven't received the track number, we urge you to contact your post office. Most likely your order's already arrived. I'm making this video because I was told that over 1000 comics are waiting for their owners at the post offices, and no one's picking them up. Some for a few days, and some for a few weeks. Maybe you haven't received the track number, maybe the email got sent to the spam folder, or maybe you received it but haven't actually tracked it, because you hoped you'd get a notice in your mailbox. Guys, it's Russian Post...

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Don't hope, take action.
Because if you don't pick up your orders and they stay at the post office for more than a month, they will be sent back to us and we won't have a chance to redeem them. So for people who ordered the comic and haven't received the track number in over 2 weeks, contact your post office. I'm sure the comic is already there and tearfully awaits you. Don't leave it.

Again, we're sorry for these inconveniences. We weren't ready for such a flood.  And we'll try our best to not let that happen again. I mean, not the flood, but the delays. P-please keep flooding us...

Thank you for understanding. Awaf to everyone!

Dima: Fucking awesome.
Alina: Fucking Russian Post.
Dima: Uh-huh. We should've also told...
Alina: About AdSense?
Dima: Yeah, AdSense.
Alina: Geez.
Dima: The email with the security code...
Alina: Yup, for monetizing the English channel. We've been trying for half a year.
Dima: Yeah! To monetize the channel you gotta get a security code from AdSense... and that security code gets sent to my neighbor.
Alina: Yes.
Dima: What if it was someone who was interested? I mean, the security code just gets sent to the wrong person... Russian Post!

♫♪ Russian Post! ♫♪