Metal Family: Glam answers questions

[ORIGINAL VIDEO]
[SUBBED VIDEO] by heavibear (@ratibear on Instagram)

... Good afternoon! My name's Glam, and now I'm going to answer your questions. But I don't have a lot of free time, so I'm only ready to spend... 14 minutes and 20 seconds, no more. Starting in 3... 2... 1...

"Why did you decide not to buy the green rooster?"
Because it's green, obviously.

"Pardon my asking, but why did WhoAreThoseFreaksOnStage break up?"
In short, we had... some disagreements. Well, all in good time. This band had given us a lot, but we've decided to move on.

"Where's the sharpener, Sebastian?"
My name is Glam.

"How do you style your hair?"
It's a fairly standard procedure. First I divide it into sections, then brush it, then lock it down with hairspray, and all of that takes no more than 40 minutes.

"Did you miss Lydia after you left home?"
A little.

"Do you have any embarrassing moments related to Victoria or the kids? Could you tell about them?"
Oh, yeah. I used to sing lullabies to the boys when they were little. Their favorite song was... "And the kids will know what hell truly is. Their first tears will sprinkle on the ground. Their first sorrows will suck out their brains. Satan will rid everyone of needless dreams." Ah, my favorite. And one time, in kindergarten, Dee was asked to sing it. But he was off key on the very first note. We had to change kindergartens.

"Your opinion on alcohol, cigarettes, etc."
I don't drink nor smoke. I just don't need it. There are many ways to relax and de-stress that are not harmful to your health.

"Has Victoria ever gotten in fights for you?"
Of course. Literally yesterday.

"At what age did you get your first piercing?"
At 20.

"Is Heavy adopted?"
Of course not.

"Are you adopted?"
Uhm... no?

"Is Dee adopted?"
What a bizarre tendency of questions. I think you should go see a psychiatrist.

"Hey, Glam? How many guitars do you own? Which one is your most favorite?"
I have 8 guitars. My favorite is Gibson.

"Glam, have you forgiven your father?"
Yes.
[The other question in the comment: "What's Victoria and kids' surname and where did the surname Shvagenvagens come from?"]

"Do you love your kids? And do you treat any of them in a special way?"
Of course I love my kids. And they're both special. We're all special.

"Why do you have a maniac face?"
Hahahah... what?

"Did you know that Dee sneaks out at night?"
Yes.
[The other question in the comment: "Do you know where yacht Caroline is? Is it named after your mother?"]

"What do you do in your free time? If you have it, of course."
I prefer to spend my free time on self-development.

"Why didn't you tell Vicky and kids about your childhood? How hard was it to let this situation go and restrain yourself from repeating your father's mistakes? What or who helped you with that? Is it possible that in the future you'll decide to tell your family about the past?"
What for? They're not interested.

"Do you have any other hobbies besides music?"
There's lots of things I'm interested in: astronomy, history, hard science, literature, art, etc.

"Where's your first guitar? Are you still keeping it?"
My first guitar is where it should be.

"Do you sleep with your eyes open or closed?"
Probably closed. But I don't know. I'm asleep. How would I know if I'm asleep?

"What would you want to change in your life?..."
Nothing.
"Why do you have such a COOL FREAKING OFFICE!!?"
Because it's mine.

"What do ya usually eat?"
I prefer healthy food. My diet is scheduled a week in advance.

"You're creepy."
Ohoho, thanks! Um... What's the question?

"Have you met your father after that night?"
No.

"What's it like to not be "the muscles" in the family?"
Hmm, depends on what you mean. If you're talking about the distribution of responsibilities in our family based on physical strength, then all of them are interchangeable. Sometimes I'm the one who cooks, and sometimes it's Vicky. Fixing the roof can also be done by me or by Vicky. And if you're talking about if I'm okay with the fact that my wife is physically stronger than me, it doesn't bother me at all. And if it did, then... It'd be time to question my self-esteem.

"Glam, have you ever met other biker girls before Vicky?"
No, never before Vicky.

"Why'd you look so grim when Heavy entered your office and told you you've been summoned to school?"
Because I was working.

"Have you ever wondered why people stare at you so strangely? don't you think you look StRaNgE sometimes? (is punctuation really that important to you, Glam?)"
"Strange" is when you don't capitalize words at the start of the sentence. And yes, it is important to me.

"Can you teach me how to play the guitar?"
Of course. It's 96 dollars for a 1-hour lesson. Go ahead.

"When's Dee's birthday?"
Ah, it was recently.

"Who do you work as?"
I work in the music industry and do tutoring.

"Glam, hello. Answer this, please... Where did you learn to draw? You were drawing those pieces of Vicky, so..."
I'd been learning to draw since I was a kid. And not just to draw.

"What are those awards on the shelves?"
Ah, just formalities. Those are the awards of my students. They gift them to me in appreciation.

"Were you scared to cook dinner with Vicky for the first time?"
Ah, I was scared she'd make it too dry.

"What's your favorite chess opening?"
Bishop's gambit.

"Have you heard of Måneskin? What do you think about them?"
I have. Nice look. Chesnok [Chive] also likes it.

"Whose idea was to wear leather jackets for the wedding? Is there any backstory to it?"
Oh, right, it was Victoria's idea. We rented them. But sadly we couldn't return them, because... we tore them. Because we fell from the motorcycle, hahah... Because someone wasn't sober. And they got all dirty...

"Glam, do you like to plant flowers? What flowers would you recommend?"
I don't know what to recommend. I used to grow plants to make a herbarium from them. A very unusual hobby, but I liked it.

[In Hebrew]
"Have you ever been to Israel?"
Haven't had a chance to.

"How did you learn about Vicky's pregnancy and how did you react?"
We used a standard pregnancy test. The method of use was... standard. How I reacted? Uhm, I was glad. The test showed 2 lines.

"What musical instruments can you play?"
Guitar, bass, violin, keyboard.

"Glam, what's the secret to your calmness?"
That's my secret... I'm always calm.

"What do you like most in Victoria?"
Oh... She's so... So rough. I love her hot temper. And... her majestic frame.

"What or who would you bring back from the past?"
I'd bring back my old diary. I'd forgotten what I'd even written there.

"Is it difficult to raise kids? What's your relationship with them now?"
We have a wonderful relationship! But raising kids is hard. Sometimes they're very... wilful. 

"Why don't you like fish?" [Note: In Russian "fish" is both the name of the animal and the "pisces" horoscope sign]
They're very narcissistic, prone to depression and... Oh, you mean the ones that swim! They're prone to... die, decompose and stink... if you don't change them in time.

"Glam, tell us a funny story about you and Ches [Chive]."
Oh, haha... Sure. One time we had a concert and Lordy fell ill. He was supposed to be replaced by some new bass player. Anyway, this guy had a shift at a factory before the concert, and he accidentally almost chopped off his arm there. When he came to the show he said "No! I will play!" Hahah... And I tell him "You don't have a hand, how are you gonna play?" And he's like "No, look!" And he even tried to play on it a little, hahah. And then his hand completely fell off. And Ches slipped on his blood... and broke his nose. Haah, such a funny story.

"The paintings in your house — are they your works? What or who usually inspires you and fills your heart with warm joy?"
My heart fills up with blood, not joy. That's how hearts work. Oh, yeah, the paintings. Those are my works.

"What happened after you left home?"
Oh, so many things...

"How did you help Ches with the song 'There Grows The Pine'? Anything fun happened when you were doing it?"
Well, actually I was asleep when Ches came up with the song. But I also dreamed of pines. Because he was constantly screaming "there grows the pine".

"Do you see your past self in Dee?"
No, I don't see any resemblances.

"Do you play games, if yes then what kind?"
Yes, I love games. Warcraft, for example. I play Alliance.

"Glam, do you believe that family is the meaning of life?"
I think life doesn't have a meaning at all.

"Glam, what would you do if one of your kids SUDDENLY became homosexual?"
How can someone suddenly become homosexual? Homosexuality doesn't just "suddenly" appear.

"How many places on your body have you pierced?"
6.

"Why are you so harsh with Dee? (Directly telling him that he might dishonor you and the family)"
Because he might dishonor me and the family. That's not being harsh, that's being straightforward.

"Who designed and made the key holder?"
I designed it and Vicky constructed it.

"How long did it take you to settle in with Ches?"
Not long.
"What was your band's journey like?"
Not long.
"Who usually writes songs?"
Usually it was Ches.

"Good day! Have you ever played in other bands as a guest musician? And have you ever played violin in any of your band's studio recordings? Or none of the group members agreed to such musical experiments?"
Well, let's say this. We never got to recording the violin.

[In Spanish]
"I really like this series. Have you thought about going to another country? If so, which one? Greetings from Ecuador."
I really liked Germany. We'll fly there again soon.

"What's your opinion on punk rock?"
I don't listen to that stuff. Not my genre.

"Are you currently happy?"
Yes.

"Were you ever in a relationship before Vicky?"
Eh, nothing serious.

"A cute childhood memory with Lydia?"
One time I cut my hand and Lydia came to me with a bandage. I thought she was gonna put it on my cut, but instead she stuck it under my nose, like a mustache. I started imitating father and we both laughed.

[First part of the comment: "Answer these please."]
"How do other people feel about you? If they call you names, did you ever want to get back at them? Did you take revenge? How often something like that happened? Ever wanted to avenge a family member?"
No. I'm not vindictive. But I educate. I call it "an educational process".
[The rest of the questions in the comment: "What was the kids' worst punishment like? And for what reason did it happen?"]

"What's the most difficult thing about raising children?"
It's understanding them. Sometimes they're so... I just don't get them.

"What's your opinion on feminism?"
Neutral.

"How would you punish Vicky for losing the wedding ring?"
Why would I? There's no reason for that.

"Why am I unable to wipe my ass with a guitar?"
Weird, Ches was able to do it once. Ask him.

"Do your children have any chronic illnesses? What kind?"
It's confidential information.

[In Latin]
"What do you think of your son watching My Little Pony?"
Everyone has their secrets.

"Where would you take your family? To the Maldives or to a local bar?"
What a strange choice. "The Maldives or a local bar"? Are there no local bars in the Maldives? I don't get it.

"How do you help kids with homework?"
Well, Dee doesn't need my help anymore, but Heavy sometimes needs at least a few hours of studying a day.

"Has a lot of things changed after Dee was born?"
Oh, yeah.
"And Heavy?"
Even more after Heavy.

"I have a few questions..."
But I'll answer only one of them.
"If Dee actually wanted to learn the guitar, would you teach him?"
If you want to learn to play the guitar, you'll play the guitar.
[The other question: "What do you think about the vocalist Ronnie James Dio?"]

"What are the feelings you get from performing on stage?"
Well, it's been a while since I performed on stage, but... The feelings are unforgettable.

"How often were you summoned to school?"
Eh, a few times.

"What's your favorite film genre, and... why this particular genre?"
I love art house. Very... sensitive genre. I think it's... the most understandable.

"Say some terrifying fact with a creepy voice."
A terrifying fact? What do you think of this:
You will die.

"Glam, hello, rate your son, isn't he beautiful?"
Gasp! Very beautiful!

"Why are you against owning a kitten?"
Kitten... shits. And stinks... when it shits. Sometimes it just stinks.
It stinks.

"What skin care products do you use? Or is it just from a diet and exercise?"
Cleansing, moisturizing creams together with a diet and exercise.

"Glam, what's your mom's name? Please tell us."
Her name was Mary.

"Did you know that Victoria lost her wedding ring?"
Yes.

"How do you calm Victoria down when she's mad? Saying "I have my own methods" won't do."
Ohhh, I'll tell you. The important thing is to make sure the pencil is very, very sharp, and then you...
Oh. I guess we're out of time. It's been a pleasure to answer your questions. Goodbye.