Metal Family Season 2 Episode 1

[ORIGINAL VIDEO]
[SUBBED VIDEO] by heavibear (@ratibear on Instagram)

Season 2 Episode 1: His Secrets

Heavy: Dee! Dee! Dee, have you seen my homework?
Dee: It's in the Slayer compartment.
Heavy: Ah, found it! Alright, I'm off!
Glam: Heavy, breakfast.
Vicky: Learn to use your hands! Freaking Tarzan.
Glam: Good morning, Victoria.
Vicky: Yeah yeah, morning-shmorning...
Glam: Poached egg with asparagus and mushy peas.
Vicky: What about bacon?!
Glam: We had bacon yesterday. Frequent consumption of bacon raises cholesterol levels and affects the cardiovascular system, as well as the brain, which can affect coordination, memory and...
Vicky: Fine, fine, fine! "Coordination, memory..." And why is our princess not following her little brother to school, dropping feces on the way?
Glam: He's going on a field trip to the science lab today at 9, in place of his first two lessons. And then he'll go to school and... Your third lesson is history, I believe?
Dee: Yeah, that's right. What's wrong, mom? Your memory's going? I guess you better stop with the bacon.
Vicky: How about you give me your phone and we'll see what you've been staring at!
Glam: Vicky, I think Dee is old enough to have his secrets. Know what I mean?
Vicky: Yeah... Sure... If you're not gonna eat then get out of here.
Dee: I was just about to.
Vicky: Did you hear that?! What a little jerk.

Doc: Please don't crowd! Come in! Do not open your bags and do not take out any foreign items! My name is Dr. Pyrkh. I'll be your guide in our unique Gnotobiotic Lab at RACHN, the Biomedical Technology Research Center! There it is.

Doc: It's divided into 4 units. As you can see here, we're currently inside unit 1. Everything's fine, this happens often. Take a look at the lab rats on your left. They've been subjected to various substances in order to change their genetics. Obviously, that doesn't make them super strong or smart, that only happens in the movies. In reality they only acquire minor changes in development and offspring. Of course, all genetic medications are kept secret, so the rats must not leave the lab under any circumstances.
Pink girl: Excuse me, can I ask a question? What if one of the rats, like, mutates, and, like, gets super smart and manages to escape from the cage? What then?
Doc: That's impossible. In order to open the aquarium you firstly need to twist this air tube like this, then use the code on the lock, which is, uh... 4 5 8 6 3, I think, then 9... Then you pull the cover up and extract it. As you can see, none of the rats, like this one here, possess enough intelligence and cognitive function. And if it did, then it'd be the best student in your school! 

Doc: ALERT! CODE RED! Get it! Get it!
Security: We got it.
Doc: You did? Hold it...
Teacher: What on earth are you doing, the kids are watching!
Doc: Everything's under control. Just a small demonstration.
Teacher: What demonstration? You chopped a rat with an axe!
Doc: Which means everything's under control! No rat can escape this lab. On its own, at least. Unless one of the students carries it past all 4 units and escapes with it through the main exit, which, of course, is simply impossible.
Dee: Don't even think about it...
Get out of there!
Doc: Young man, what did I say at the start of the tour?
Dee: You said not to pull out foreign items, but I—
Doc: I said "Do not open your bags!" We have strict rules here! Please try to follow them in our institution. This isn't a nail salon.
Dee: Alright. Then before touching my bag, try to get a manicure.
Doc: That's... Yeah!

Doc: Have a good day, guys! Don't forget to rate the tour on our app! Damn ratings...
Security: Doctor! One of the rats is gone!
Doc: AGAIN?! ALERT! CODE RED! SEAL OFF ALL EXISTS AND ENTRANCES! Damn rats...
Dee: Man, you made quite a ruckus. What am I supposed to do with you?
Girl: Is that one of the rats from the lab?!
Dee: No it's... a souvenir, a toy...

Dee: Why don't you keep it?
Teacher: Line up, punks! Sit down! Today's year is 1453. Who can tell me what this year is known for in world history? Wow, so many raised hands... Then I'll give you a hint. You little brats. On this year fell a great empire, which was the home of such great intellectuals as Anna Comnena.
Girl: Sounds like konina. [TL Note: Konina means "horse meat" in Russian]
Teacher: This imperial princess devoted her life to philosophy and history rather than staring at pretty boys, Diana. Diana! Maybe you can tell us what empire fell in the year 1453?
Diana: Uh...
Dee: Isengard.
Diana: Um... Isengard!
Teacher: What freaking Is-- Zhengard?! Stop playing your mine crafts and spouting nonsense!
Alright, Dee, restore the reputation of your regressed generation.
Dee: The Byzantine Empire.
Teacher: Of course! Geez... Maybe you could also make my day by telling what Anna was known for?
Dee: If I'm not mistaken, she was one of the first female historians. She wrote... the Alexiad, I think.
Teacher: That's right. Though it'd be more right to say she completed it. She continued the work of her husband Nikephoros. By the way, I didn't really like it. Way too pretentious. Historical works shouldn't be written like that. What the... The hell... Holy freaking shit! Catch that thing! You bastard! Dee, it jumped in your bag, we need to burn it!
Diana: Um, actually it's his rat. He stole it from the lab and have been showing it off all day. The whole class can confirm.

Dee: Umm... Dad?
Glam: Not now, Heavy... Oh. Dee?
Dee: You've been uh... summoned to school.
Glam: On what occasion?
Dee: Our history teacher's gone crazy and he's seeing things...
Glam: Okay!

Teacher: Yeah yeah, come in. Holy moly!
Glam: Good afternoon. From what I’ve heard, you’re dissatisfied with my son’s behavior and
looks?
Teacher: No. Dee's fine, both in behavior and grades... A very nice, quiet, smart boy.
Glam: So then... why am I here?
Teacher: Rat!
Glam: Rat?
Teacher: Dee brought a rat to school! No clue why.
Glam: Ah, Dee warned me you might have hallucinations. I can recommend you a great medication!
Teacher: I'd love if it were just hallucinations! But I saw it with my own eyes! It was a black rat with a tail longer than its torso!
Glam: From the way you described it, it's Rattus rattus. They're not found in our region. They were replaced by gray rats.
Teacher: I dunno about rattus, but it's got quite a shittus! It pooped on my shoe! What I value most about school is order and discipline, and Dee disrupts that order. School isn't a place for pets. And judging by the look on your face, you should have your home checked for pests. That's all, I won't keep you any longer. What the hell is that?!
Glam: Oh, just a precaution. You never know when you'll need it, he he. Goodbye.
Teacher: Bon voyage.

Dee: Come in.
Glam: Hi, Dee. What are you doing?
Dee: Rearranging the books... How's the teacher?
Glam: Everything went wonderfully. We had a... a bit of a heart-to-heart.
Dee: Did he tell you about a rat?
Glam: A rat? Yeah, he mentioned a rat. Why'd you ask?
Dee: He was running from a rat all class. It was hilarious.
Glam: Ha ha ha ha. To be honest... his words... were pretty convincing. What's in here?
Dee: Dad, I think I'm old enough to have my secrets. Know what I mean?
Glam: Yes. Of course. You remember the most important rule of our house, right?
Dee and Glam: "No animals in the house."
Glam: Even fish. Even fish.
Heavy: Dad? What are you doing?
Glam: Nothing, just came in to check on him, is all.

Dee: Well, guess I won't be able to hide you for long. You'll have to leave.
Laptop messages:
1. Thank you))) My first like!!!^^
2. No problem. I have to go. Bye.
3. Bye)))
4. Hi! How are you? How's your tooth?
Dee: [writes] "All good. Say... What do you think of rats?"
Huh, I guess this is your last chance.
Message: I LOVE EM!!! But only black ones :rat::heart:rat:
Why do you ask? Wait do you... HAVE A RAT???!!!!!!"№,%:?
Dee: You're lucky. I hope you don't stink too much.