Metal Family: Victoria answers questions
[ORIGINAL VIDEO]
[SUBBED VIDEO] by heavibear (@ratibear on Instagram)
Anna: Well, Vicky, are you ready?
Vicky: Fine, let's do it already... Turn that shit on.
Anna: I already did actually.
Vicky: Oh, yeah?
Anna: It's recording.
Vicky: Ok, then start reading that stuff.
Anna: Won't you introduce yourself?
Vicky: [reluctantly] Hello everyone. I'm Victoria.
Anna: Okay, and what are you gonna do right now?
Vicky: I'm gonna answer questions!
Anna: Perfect, Vicky.
Vicky: Thank you.
Anna: Alright, first question. "How did you meet Anna?"
Vicky: Well, I was out driving and saw a girl standing with a bike. I pulled over of course and asked what was wrong. [to Anna] What happened there by the way?
Anna: I believe the belt got torn.
Vicky: I think your carburetor broke down.
Anna: I have an injector.
Vicky: But it could've been a carburetor...
Anna: Oh, don't start this, alright?
Vicky: Anyway, I helped as much as I could. After that we became friends.
Anna: "What's more painful: giving birth or getting punched in the face?"
Vicky: Well, giving birth is both more painful and has scarier consequences...
Anna: "Victoria, do you give your kids beer?"
Vicky: I have in the past so they would leave me alone, cuz they were like "Hey, mom, what's that? Can I try it?". And then "Ew, this is gross!".
Anna: "Would you like to have a daughter?"
Vicky: Well, I don't even know... I can barely manage those two dorks, and a daughter... Man, I don't even know what to do with them, really! Those dresses, dolls... Nah, not for me.
Anna: "What was your wedding like?"
Vicky: Well, damn... It was fun... I think? I don't remember, I got so drunk! [to Anna] Maybe you'll tell them?
Anna: Umm, I don't remember either. I left before the kiss.
Vicky: ... Kiss with who?
Anna: Man, these questions... "What did you fall in love with Glam for?" God, who would even find this interesting.
Vicky: [blushing] Well, he's a... freaking psycho. And, well... Well, yeah. He's cool.
Anna: Is that all?
Vicky: [clears throat] Next one.
Anna: "Aunt Victoria, tell us about your childhood?"
Vicky: Just a normal childhood. Nothing to talk about.
Anna: "Show your tattoos."
Vicky: Yeah, and what else should I show you? The nerve of this guy...
Anna: "What do you think about Ches? And does Lydia really have chlamydia?" [last one — a reference to a meme in the community]
Vicky: Hehehe, chlamydia... I think she does have chlamydia, also lice and worms. The entire set. And what I think about Ches, well... He's alright. Though he's definitely strange.
Anna: "What's your relationship with your parents?"
Vicky: ... No relationship.
Anna: "Glam found Dee's cigarettes and is keeping quiet about it" ... I don't get what's the question here. [a reference to a fan comic made by the artist Junk]
Vicky: Uuugh, I told him not to hide it in the kitchen! Little fucker...
Anna: [sighs] "How many years you and Glam have been together?"
Vicky: 16 or... 17 years.
Anna: "Why don't you like riding in the back seat?"
Vicky: Well, I don't like riding in cars in general. At least in the front seat I could pretend I'm riding a bike and it's not as gross. But the back seat is really uncomfortable.
Anna: "What happened after the parent meeting at school?"
Vicky: Well, last time I went to school with a hammer. But it was late already so only one guard was there. We had a little chat and that was all. Nice dude by the way.
Anna: "When are you gonna talk to the teachers? I think that would be fun..." I guess you already answered this question.
Vicky: Well, yeah.
Anna: God fucking dammit... "Do you know about Glam's past?"
Vicky: Well, I think he had a rich dad... Uhh... Some yachts... It's impossible to crack him, you know. He doesn't tell anything. To be honest I never really asked. We didn't get the yacht anyway.
Anna: "What brand of beer is the tastiest?"
Vicky: You don't have that one.
Anna: Again about Glam. Let's skip it?
Vicky: No, no, read it!
Anna: "Have you heard how awesomely Glam plays the guitar? If so, tell us your thoughts. Also, what kind of music do you like?"
Vicky: Glam's actually great at playing! I can't even see his fingers, he's moving them so fast! It's cool! I don't really know much about these things. Him and Ches usually talk about "sixth chords" or whatever. I dunno, but I think it's really cool for sure.
As for music, I actually prefer something heavy. Like Amon Amarth and Omnium Gatherum.
Anna: Fuck... "What did Glam do to make you say yes and build a family?"
Vicky: I don't even know what to answer. As the question, so the answer!
Anna: That's what I'm saying too! Enough with your Glam.
Vicky: No, it's not about Glam, it's just the questions are so personal...
Anna: The next one's about Glam too.
Vicky: Damn. Fine, read it.
Anna: "Vicky, what were your thoughts when you first saw Glam?"
Vicky: I thought "what a fuckhead".
Anna: "Your height and weight?"
Vicky: My height is 177cm. And weight... [to Anna] Hey, if I say 65kg would that be too fucked up?
Anna: Well, look. I'm 173cm tall and I weight 60kg, and I'm not a jock.
Vicky: Ok, then record it like this: my weight is 78kg.
Anna: Ughh, 4 questions! You think you're so smart, Ek... Oh, that's a woman.
Vicky: 4 questions is cheating. Ask 2 of them.
Anna: Okay, let's do the last 2. "Who cooks in the family and what's your fave dish?"
Vicky: Well, Glam usually cooks. But when it comes to meat, then I take place! I'm an expert at that stuff, you know. My favorite dish is grilled stake. Medium rare.
Anna: "Where did you get this love for motorcycles?"
Vicky: What's with these questions? "Where, where"... Where do you think!
Anna: "What bike do you have?"
Vicky: The best. [snaps fingers]
Anna: "Ural or Dnepr?" [Ukrainian and Russian motorcycle brands]
Vicky: Ural is a classic of course... But I think I still like Dnepr more. It has crankshaft bearings and it's heavier. And in my opinion the heavier it is the safer.
Anna: "How much did you buy your bike for?"
Vicky: Hehe, "buy".
Anna: "Vicky, would you arm wrestle with me?"
Vicky: Let me look at her. Is that her? Nah, sorry girl, but I'd definitely win.
Anna: "Ska or black [metal]?"
Vicky: Black. Definitely black.
Anna: "Why are you so cool?"
Vicky: Oh, c'mon. You aren't bad either...
Anna: That was a question.
Vicky: Oh. Heheh. Well... yeah, that's me.
Anna: Vicky, on your cheek...
Vicky: Here?
Anna: A bit left.
Vicky: Fuck.
Anna: "What are your thoughts on Heavy constantly getting in fights?"
Vicky: Let him fight. That's my boy!
Anna: [clears throat] "Who is Anna to you?"
Vicky: Well, a friend... a good friend.
Anna: "How often do you go to the gym?"
Vicky: When I feel like I'm losing shape. Not very regularly to be honest.
Anna: "What kind of bike is the best in your opinion?"
Vicky: The best bike is a custom. One that you built yourself.
Anna: "When did you get your first tattoo?"
Vicky: At 17.
Anna: "Vicky, I respect your love for bikes. But why don't you approve the sports models?"
Vicky: Because you sit on them like a shrimp!
Anna: I sit normally!
Vicky: Like a shrimp!
Anna: [gasps] "Were you ever romantically interested in women?"
Vicky: Uhhh, well... [sudden noise] Fuck. Bug!
Bug: What?
Vicky: Stop fucking drilling, we're recording a blog here! Ok, next one.
Anna: Wait, answer the question!
Vicky: Umm, fuck... Well, you do all kinds of things when you're drunk.
Anna: "How much beer can you drink in one go?"
Vicky: Around 5-6 cans.
Anna: "Do you beat your kids?"
Vicky: Maybe just upside the head. For prevention.
Anna: "How does Glam calm you down when you're mad?"
Vicky: Well, he... [blushing] has his methods. [to Anna, whispering] Next one.
Anna: "Victoria, where did you get your love for... auto mechanics?"
Vicky and Anna: [laughing]
Anna: "How much do you lift?"
Vicky: 50kg for 9 reps.
Anna: "What happened when Heavy helped you change oil?" [a reference to Heavy answers questions]
Vicky: I told him "carefully unscrew it with a wrench, just don't drop it in the oil". But no, he burned his hands, dropped the wrench in the oil, the oil fell down, now there's oil everywhere... He stands there whining with burned hands. Anyway, he won't be helping me again anytime soon.
Anna: "If you don't mind answering: where do you work? Does it relate to your favorite bikes?"
Vicky: Well, here's a workshop. I work here.
Anna: "Were you bullied in school? If so, how did you handle it?"
Vicky: I barely even went to school...
Anna: "Do you miss Dee and Heavy when they were kids?"
Vicky: Well, as they say "little kids — little problems". At the very least I don't miss Heavy, he whined without stopping.
Anna: "Show your wedding ring."
Vicky: I kinda... fucking lost if somewhere. Just don't tell Glam.
Anna: "What's your opinion on makeup?"
Vicky: Well, Glam's makeup is pretty.
Anna: "Victoria, you're very muscular and manly. What do people think about Glam being weaker than you?"
Vicky: I don't give a shit about what people think. What Glam thinks is more important. And I think he's okay with it.
Anna: "I'm repairing Riga-13 [Russian bike model], presumably the piston's configuration is off (the spark plug activates before the piston reaches the TDC). Any suggestions on how to set it up?"
Vicky: Man... depends on the ignition system. If it's that old Riga-13 I'm thinking about, then there's a... zipper moving around. Maybe that's off? If it's the new model, then maybe it's a problem with the sensor. The crankshaft position sensor. Plus you shouldn't forget that the ignition always happens slightly before the piston reaches the TDC. In any case, it still has to get looked at. That's just the first thing that comes to mind.
Anna: "I bet you can't eat a... sur... surströmming." Ew, what the hell is that?
Vicky: You're right, I can't. Me and Bug tried it once and vomited all over the workshop.
Anna: "If bad times every happen in terms of job and money, would you mind letting Heavy live with Ches? And what do you think about Heavy sort of admiring Chesnok?" Uhh...
Vicky: What? What the hell?
Anna: "Ever thought of divorcing Glam?"
Vicky: Pff, no.
Anna: "Is Heavy adopted?"
Vicky: You're freaking adopted! Let me see who wrote that. Bitch. [to Anna] Do you know how to ban?
Anna: "To the Adam's apple or in the groin?"
Vicky: I guess Adam's apple. In the groin is too much.
Anna: "Who was more difficult to deal with, Dee or Heavy?"
Vicky: Back when we only had Dee I thought he was difficult. But when Heavy was born I realized Dee was actually an angel incarnate. He would just sit quietly, picking at something. And Heavy would cry constantly!
Anna: "McDonalds, Burger King or KFC?"
Vicky: Hard question. Definitely not McDonalds... Probably KFC.
Anna: "She won't read this, but still... How did you learn to use the social media VK at your age?"
Vicky: Whaaat? What's wrong with my age? You know, it's not good to judge people by their age! Asshole!
Anna: "Vicky, did you know Heavy touched..."
Vicky: C'mon, go on. Why'd you stop?
Anna: Read it yourself.
Vicky: What is it? "... aunt Anna's butt?" [laughing] Damn. That's my boy!
Anna: Written in caps lock: "WHY WON'T YOU LET HEAVY HAVE A KITTY?"
Vicky: Ohhh, with this again. Are you gonna annoy me in the comments too? You think Heavy would clean up its shit? No! I would clean after it! He would only hug it. Do I need that? No. Fuck the cat.
Anna: "When you dropped your keys in the sewers in that very first clip on the channel, why didn't you just rip the hatch off with your teeth? It's not like you to destroy the steering column if you care so much about carburetors."
Vicky: Whaaat? What clip, what channel? And how did you know I dropped the keys? Are you stalking me?
Anna: "Vic, what's your opinion on the LGBT community? What would you do if one of your kids turned out to be LGBT?"
Vicky: They won't. Well, as I understood, Heavy definitely won't have any problems with that. [to Anna] Eh?
Anna: "Victoria, can you tell us about the bike that crashed into the statue, and the word 'hell' formed on it?"
Vicky: ...
Anna: Oh, umm... Let's do the next question.
Anna: "Were you sad about the yacht?"
Vicky: Oh course, it's a yacth!
Anna: "What do you think about Dee and Heavy getting shipped? I know they're brothers, don't beat me."
Vicky: Wait, what? What do you mean "shipped"?
Anna: Here's a picture, look.
Vicky: Ew, are you sick or what?!
Anna: "Here's a secret. Dee and Heavy couldn't beat a dude in their school. But I didn't say anything."
Vicky: Fucking snitch.
Anna: "Who do you think will find a girlfriend faster, Heavy or Dee?"
Vicky: Well, probably Dee since he's older. Plus he's good at makeup.
Anna: "Vicky, I wanted to ask: boxing or arm wrestling?"
Vicky: We usually start with arm wrestling and end with boxing.
Bug: Vicky!
Vicky: Hmm?
Bug: How's that green Drag Star? The client is here.
Vicky: What? What green Drag Star?
Bug: The one that needed its filter changed this morning!
Vicky: Fuuuuuuck.
Bug: Have you started on it?
Vicky: Fuck, fuck, fuck! [to Anna] Turn it off!
Anna: Turning off. Bye everyone. Fucking hell.
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